Fish

"Monday and everyone saw Neoceratodus Australia 15 on the staffroom blackboard and wanted to know what it meant. A 15 year old Australian transfer student? The girls and I were excited about talking to an Australian boy, myself especially because English is my favourite subject. I'll have an advantage with him because my English is better than everyone else's. Maybe I'll be assigned to him as his escort. Hopes ascending, and destroyed by the vice principal, "Neoceratodus is just a fish from Aquamarine Fukushima." Evacuated after March 11th.

Tuesday morning and sit through four classes of easy nonsense but pretend to struggle because I just want to fit in. Lunchtime and I meet my Australian dream boy for the first time and he's four feet long, fifty pounds, slimy and ugly as Hell. Neoceratodus can't move in our little tank, apparently when placed in a bigger tank he still does not move though he could. Maybe there's some deeper meaning in that and I can almost see it but I'm too young and it's out of focus.

Wednesday and I visit Neocera and lean in close and look in his window and he lays not moving and unmoved and I see my reflection and I'm fading. We share the silence and I thank him for it. The other boys think volume and charisma are the same thing.

Thursday and Neo is going to Niigata. He's just another victim of March 11th and I'll remember him though he leaves us.

Some weeks later and I go to Aquamarine Fukushima. I meet Neo and he moves for me and I smile for him."

Nasu

I had diarrhoea last time I went to Nasu, in Christmas 2009. Like many of my problems it was self inflicted. I was constipated the night before we left so I got some constipation drugs. They worked really well and I was very pleased with the results. So pleased in fact, that I didn't want to stop taking them. By the time we were in Nasu I had diarrhoea. Upon arrival at Nasu station I went straight to the station toilet and let rip. No toilet paper.

Anyway, after I used my underwear as toilet paper at the station I didn't stop taking the constipation drugs as I was afraid of becoming constipated again - the trauma of being kept awake the night before by a painful constipated stomach still hung over me. We went to strawberry fields and I had to run out maybe three times to visit the little boys room, which at the strawberry fields were portaloos. I also visited the little girls room because I used all the toilet paper in the boys room and had to steal some more. This was the peak of my diarrhoea. I stopped taking the drugs after that.

Today I am going to Nasu again and my bowels are in good condition. It should be a good trip.

Cinema

Thor was good but I don't know why it was in 3D, Thor didn't even throw his hammer out of the screen. Isn't that the most obvious thing to do? Pirates of the Caribbean was also in 3D, but I didn't wear the glasses for most of the movie and it was actually in 2D most of the time. This didn't seem fair considering the 3D movie tickets are 80% more expensive. The Transformers trailer was in 4D - it was so loud and offensive, I felt like I was being raped from four sides.

I saw Thor on opening night and there were 5 people in the screening. I watched Pirates 4 in maybe its third week of release and the screening was completely full. This is probably because Pirates 4, being a Disney movie, had a Japanese dub (and no one knows what a Thor is.)

I wonder if Pirates of the Caribbean would be as successful in Japan if it didn't get the Disney dub. Probably not, because few people prefer to watch movies with subtitles. International trailers for Spanish movies usually have no dialogue in them, an intentional omission by the movie companies because they know people will likely be turned off by the subtitles.

Then hipsters on YouTube call everyone idiots for not watching Pan's Labyrinth due to the subtitles. When Pan's Labyrinth is released on DVD it has an English dub in order to make it more accessible to subtitle averse idiots. But then hipsters criticise the existence of the English dub, despite supposedly wanting everyone to see the film.

Maybe Japanese audiences will never hear what Johnny Depp sounds like as Jack Sparrow, but they are seeing the film and that's what matters, right?

Toy Story 3 was interesting too, the Japanese voice actors did press appearances promoting the movie and some kids (hopefully not adults) were likely convinced that the Japanese dub is the original. But Toy Story 3 was amazing and if a Japanese dub posing as the original got more kids to watch it then I'm happy.

I thought about all this whilst watching Pirates of the Caribbean. I didn't concentrate on the film because it totally sucked.

Location:ポレポレいわき