The biggest problem I have with supermarkets is that other people use them. A quick trip to buy some microwave meals, milk and coco pops slowly turns into a horrifying physical and mental ordeal.
I zipped round the store picking up my items, delighted to find that the microwave section had been stocked up recently. But disaster struck, I reached the checkout area and saw four giant queues, and realised I needed a shit. I took a chance on the queue with the lowest average age, which in this town is about 50, I felt happy with my decision until I saw that every checkout was manned by useless old women. The slow pace at which they beep... beeped the items through probably matched the slowly dwindling pace of their own dying heartbeat. So much time passed that I forgot I needed a shit.
Then a miracle happened, the oxygen stealers were joined by younger more vibrant employees (40+ years old). I was elated, the speed of the beep...beeping of the items through the checkout increased dramatically, however this elation was quickly put to an end when I remembered I needed a shit. I wondered if the only option available to me might be the self detonation device, last nights yakiniku terd was knocking on Satan's Alley and it wasn't going to be stopped.
The rest is all a blur. I vaguely remember walking away from the checkout, still hearing the sound of the checkouts beeping endlessly, knowing that the suffering of so many people was still going on. One checkout was being operated by two oxygen stealers, which probably ended up being slower than one. I wonder how people in that queue shat themselves?
I zipped round the store picking up my items, delighted to find that the microwave section had been stocked up recently. But disaster struck, I reached the checkout area and saw four giant queues, and realised I needed a shit. I took a chance on the queue with the lowest average age, which in this town is about 50, I felt happy with my decision until I saw that every checkout was manned by useless old women. The slow pace at which they beep... beeped the items through probably matched the slowly dwindling pace of their own dying heartbeat. So much time passed that I forgot I needed a shit.
Then a miracle happened, the oxygen stealers were joined by younger more vibrant employees (40+ years old). I was elated, the speed of the beep...beeping of the items through the checkout increased dramatically, however this elation was quickly put to an end when I remembered I needed a shit. I wondered if the only option available to me might be the self detonation device, last nights yakiniku terd was knocking on Satan's Alley and it wasn't going to be stopped.
The rest is all a blur. I vaguely remember walking away from the checkout, still hearing the sound of the checkouts beeping endlessly, knowing that the suffering of so many people was still going on. One checkout was being operated by two oxygen stealers, which probably ended up being slower than one. I wonder how people in that queue shat themselves?
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